at lost

life isn't unfair, if you think it is then you're wrong.
nothing is coincidence.
only poems can tell how i am feeling.

Sorrow
by Dillon Crawford

Sorrow;
A pain you never forget.
Sorrow;
Life's true regret.
Sorrow;
An endless demon who will never quit
Sorrow;
The rock in the path
Sorrow;
My life's lonely tale.

..
You only come and try to appreciate me on that every moment.

They only enter when they've hurt me, I don't want to see them anymore.
I'll fade someday

fantastic tuesdayy

yeah i just love tuesdays, a live impressive show to watch at 11:25pm.
hehehe...so I checked the free tickets given off through facebook and since my name starts with letter Y i directly scroll my mouse down and i saw "75.Yenny.. i was almost jumping but not until when i saw "75.Yenny Chen" hmm... I'm not lucky enough, lol. Tan and Chen are the same... well eventhough if i'll get one, also can't go.. just for a show I must make a trip to Jakarta is impossible.. hhahaha I believe i gonna receive the ticket someday.

Today aftr arriving at school, all of us were summoned to the basketball court, wth. School got no hall meh?? Why must go to basketball court and SIT on the floor or cement i supposed, so dirty.. raindrops, wet, sands and dirts yeah all because of the introducing of SCB candidates, well i don't carre.
And i even squatted for the whole period, my legs went numb. ugh..
But I made it!! lol
To my surprise that Agus and JP are the representatives of our class.. hoho.
After the introduction, we went back to class. Still the first subject biologi, we did some seatworks, quite easy for me.. hoho not bluffing.
Then economics, damn boringg!! I kept on yawning in the class.. hahha..
Then recess, mtk quite interesting but pak jonni left us tons of hw.. and next was english then lunch, then double mulok, barely do anythg and last but not least it's.... oh biology.. hehe forgotten. And lastly practising for the Independence day event, i was chosen to join in the paduan suara, we gonna sing Indonesia Raya and Sabang sampai Merauke.. This event will be held on 14th Friday. This year no fun, no activities lah, lame.
revised on computer earlier cos tomorow got test, school is really boring most of the time.. I wanna graduate and finish this year sooon..
huh.. liffe is such a wave.

picture of the day;
Cigarette thru spoon

kikuchi magic is known for spooon magics.

How Edwin?? Ok??

"live for nothing die for something"
-adapted from a movie

Fridayy

Fridayy again.. so fast.
Although i wish that time to come, but this is too fast. Well better then.
hmm.. so wat happened today??
ermm... I don't like the new cheating arrangement! My new seat is so cool, i can't stand it!!!
Played UNO cards with my sis, fun.. haahha..
Tomorow wanna go or not ya?? I'm so confused.
I wanna do hw and revise, hahha...
I'll decide tomorrow. btw, i wanna buy cards and books, the 3rd video has arrived.
to (u knw who u r): hows the course?? decide alrdy??

Watched tricky tv earlier.. learned a new trick, but it's so simple and might be exposed by these '@#$%^&* kind' of audiences, lol. haha
Vivi sent me a psychological test and it turned out that I'm: "sometimes u'll bring trouble for frens cos u r kind, but cos of often telling truth so without realizing, u've caused trouble/s. hahaha.. I think so, I don't think so. Who thinks so??
My arts activity is almost finished, just need some stitching and put cottons..
Allright, my usual show is coming going to watch now.
bye for noww>

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese"
-Billie Burker

^.^

hoho.. i guess my life has really changed..
I feel happier now, i dun have to hide my true feelings, i'm carefree.
Just finish watching Criss Angel 'MINDFREAK',OMG, I'm really impressed!!!
He turned an 8yr old girl into her 20yr old look.. ohh so unbelievable!!!!!
I can't figure out how is that possible.. impossible!!
And he levitate a fire from candle too, coooolll!
And so today we're into tricks and magics again, not only today but ofcourse everyday i belieeve. Glory brought a magical box, it's so cute.. Put something in it and open again it'll be gone.. haha.. cute.
We had our new *cheating arrangement today, now my seatmate is Jan Paul,, hoho i'm separated from Pris.. And we both won't get the chance to listen to Agus's story anymore.. haihhh.... right Priscillia????? haha.
I was energetic for the whole day and began to feel exhausted during computer lesson.
Justin made his remarks again.. from there it goes to show that he's a very pessimistic person.. he nvr think optimistically.. Infact i pity him.. lol.
Think positively, i nvr think of the consequences cos i know i won't fail. Only with that kind of thought, i gonna succeed... allright Juzz??
Btww, today is the 15th of lunar month, our Moon gonna look gorgeous and shining..
huh.. my flesh has bleed, the wire is so sharp that my flesh is almost tearing.. hurt ahh..

allright wanna go on browsing.
bye for now.
*cheating=(seating)

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstances"
-Bruce Barton

a new start

lol..
Today I'm happy in the school, finally I am free, netral!
Early in the mroning,arrived, went into the class Glory&Soniaa awaits me alredy..
hohoho.. Not clear too lah, wateverr..
The moment i went to my desk, Sonia performed a card trick, at first ofcourse i'm impressed then she taught me, but i couldn't understand..
Then when she show the trick to Wan Jia Qi, Jia Qi kept on @#$%^&* i mean like some hard-audiences, when they see magics they'll say this that how do shuffle cheat la wat lah and bla bla bla, lol. Then right at that moment i finally GOT IT!! Although she's wrong but I understand Sonia's concept, haha!!
BTw, That trick was made by Sonia lor, intelligent man!
And wat i'm happy most is that she said; "You Perfect-ed my trick".. hahahaha...
understand??
no??
ASK YOUR MOM OR DAD!!! haha.. relax just kidding
As she just made the trick ystday and she still hasn't had the full right concept.lol
She said that she's going to make another one tonight.. hehehe..
I feel a bit guilty, cos only the both of them impart skills/ tricks to me, while I don't.. hahaha maklum no card yet..
I performed the trick to Justin&Agus..
And there was one which is alredy destroyed but i still manage to find the card.. hahahahaaahha...
Truth to say, i hate to perform magics to people with this @#$%^&* kind of attitude..
You can see that they are not a bit appreciative of Magics, since right frm the start they knew Magics are lies, then why must they still break and destroy the magician's show?? huh i can't stand these kind of attitude.
Well.. so much for everything, my dream&hope is still the same, won't ever change!

To you(you knw who u r): I'll say the truth, frm now on i dun wan to have any close frens anymore. I want to be free, netral! I want to be like the way I am today everyday.. I'll be frens with everybody but not close. Maybe u dun understand, ok it's like this. I don't want to stick with u, go to canteen must wait for u then go together, buy food together then eat walk together. I want to be free, leave anytime i want, no need to "jiao dai". I want like how i treat everybody in class, like my frendship with Glory , Gea, Vivi themm... So frm now on i dun wan to stick with anybody, i'll be friends with everyone. I dun want to be unhappy, i want the kind of life i want, so I'll just say the truth, rather than be a hy[pocrite.. I dun wan to be frens with u only. Stick with u all the time isn't what i want.
And anyway maybe this could be my last year in svhool, so plase grant me this!
I hope u understand, I know i'm introvert in everyways, if i hurt u, I'm sorry!
After so much, u understand?? If u don't, ask Justin. I'm 100% sure he understands.
ps: BUT THE WAY I BEFRIENDS ISN'T LIKE CHANGING CLOTHES, SO DON'T GET WRONG!
EVERYONE ALWAYS MISUNDERSTOOD ME!!;(
AND I'M NOT SEVERING TIES WITH ANYONE! THIS AIN'T PLEDGE OF SEVERING TIES, DON'T GET IT WRONG! THIS IS JUST AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

Allright, so much for today, i hope everyday is like today..
God, I'm sorry for the bad karmas i've done, i really dun like the situation forgive me for not acquiring the universal-love. May everyone lead a happy and healthy life.
ok, Bye for now.
MY dream shall come true!
Pray for me ya, Pris~!
ahahahhaha.....

"To hope till Hope creates from its own wreck the thing it contemplates."
-Percy Bysshe Shelley

Mondayy

It's Monday again, huh boringg...
Time pass so fast, hour by hour, day by day, week by week and year by year..
huh..
This moorning really sucks arh! ugh!!
Then as time pass by, it's gone too.
Today i'm close to Glory and Sonia. We talked about Illusions and Magics&Tricks. hahha..
Edwin showed me a video too, aftr watching i felt crazy.. hahaha
It's the action of Criss Angel. lol
Anyone who knows where to browse&downloaad videos aside from youtube??
kindly tell me. Thanks!

hmm.. ok goin to do hw now.
buhbyee.

"Consistency is the quality of a stagnant mind"
-John Sloan

3into1

this post is about these few days..
Earth is old..
strange thgs keep on happening, everday the news is always filled.. haihs..

so these 3days our class made its first record, 8-10 pupils are sick+absent..
on thhe same day and on the same moment.. including me..
I really hate to get sick, the whole thg is so uncomfortable...
And we had a new classmate WanJiaQi/Rachel from China..
I thought only the Hongkong's speak in Cantonnese, but China too i guess. lol
Yesterday was supposed to watch my usual show, but was asked to turn in.. damn lah..
luckily got encore, but encore not nice lah.. cut cut cut nah..

Today supposed to be out with Rachel them, but i turned them down cos wanna catch up and do revisons, tons of homweork to do.. I am worried of UAN, i hope i pass and get out of here.. I'll study hard!
And today got news..
Tchr.Marlon went to check-up with her wife and checked her embryo i guess, it's a girl..
Congrats... =)
And i'm awaiting 2019 too!! Where we're going to have our Grand Reunion with him!
lol..
Heard from Justin that tomorow is Agus bday..
lalalla..
allright..
bye.

"It matters not what a person is born, but who they choose to be."
-Joanne K. Rowling

unhappy life

life is really unpredictable, today a teacher told us that our ekonomi tchr had an accident this morning and was sent to hospital, she just taught us yesterday OMG, what's more she's pregnant!
I wonder how's her condition, our aviser told us that she'll undergo an operation, i hope she's fine. God watch over her.

Today school really made me unhappy, day by day i'm getting tired of seeing faces in school, i really want to leave u know, somewhere where i'm happy and could make my dreams come true.. whenevr i think of it i feel very happyy..
I want a change of environment!!
There's a lot to say, but everything i keep inside my heart..

Bio time we did some activity about observations, ridiculous. lol
but from the activity i learned that someone really appreciate me, hahha..
it's Edwin.

To Edwin:
Thanks for the words-written though i didn't heard it, but i knew clearly only u are different frm the others, thanks for listening to my absurd words, thanks for being supportive and always there when i need help though sometimes i'd get dissapointed.
But i just want to tell u that u're the most good friend i've ever encountered, although we're only close occassionaly but evrything u've done will be remembered.
Luckily i got u in the class, if there's no you, i believe i can't stay long in the class. *Only you who are supportive of me, while the others are such a wet blanket, ignorant, world apart, unsupportive. I feel that they just look down on me, and take things for granted. Destroy my hopes and dreams, make fun of it. Barely speak words of justice and fairness, get told to shut up. Even if u think that is impossible, couldn't u speak in beeter ways? Someday i gonna make them take back their words. Because names i mention are not for anyone to disgrace nor humiliate.
And i believe i gonna shine someday... close doesn't mean anything.
ughm... so dramatic..
lol..
I'm not lying but this is what i feel about you.
I knew i'm not perfect, but this is what i really feel to the others i dun want to deceive myself and others and be hypocrite.
So that explains my grumpy and ignorant face evryday..
I really hope they stay away from me...
Who understand me? Don't say you do! Cos u don't!

2010 come quick, bring me somewhere out of here!
so sick and tired of this.. the only problem is me i supposed!
but i really wanna get out of here!!!!!!!!!!
feeling sick.

btw and lastly, Happy Birthday Lee Su Hye Rin!!

ps: starting frm the *passage may be confusing cos it involves ot only one but more.
huh.....

Good that tonight got a show to calm me down, which relates me into my dream..
lol..

"Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in."
-Bill Bradley

with family

yesterday we went to watch the movie, i thought it's the continuation Dororo2 but i was wrong.
So there are 4 movies for us to watch, in the end we watch "Push". It's nice! Worth of ur time&money..
We had dinner first before entering the theatre.
Now i love watching movies in cinemas, hmm the large screen and loudness also the darkness.

These few nights seemed weird&terrifying to me, do u knw why?
it's like this..
(first night): i dreamt of a temple, there held a funeral. The one who passed away is and old man, he seemed old but i dunno who he is...
(second night): i dreamt of school, there held a funeral too. The one who died is my teacher, it's him(dun wan to spell lah) then in the dream i rmbr i dreamt the same thing the other night(the first dream).
and the 3rd one is last night, i dreamt again of a funeral, this time the dead one is my realative, it's her.
I always pray before sleep, but why...?
Does anyone know what does these dreams mean??
Three nights for the same dream..
Will i dream of another one tonight??
I'm so scared...

Time flies, tomorrow is another Monday..
Vivi texted me that maybe our class is going to lead the flag ceremony, so stand by.
I'll get there early and snatch the easiest work and that is prayer..
hahaha....
boring, alone at home us usual..
I wanna go to capital city..
When will i ever go??
lol

bbfn

"All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams."
-Elias Canetti

<>

it may seem at ease.
it may seem happy.
it may seem perfect.
it may seem lovely.
it may seem wonderful.
but.. how long will it last?

going out tonight for the 2nd free show again..
lol, hope it's dororo2.
awhh.. teeth in pain

another bliss

so yesterday we went to watch the movie, Harry Potter and half-blood prince.
I got it wrong, i mistook it for chamber of secrets.
And finally i found my shoe! Lots of thanks to Pris, thanks to her i found one. We've been to that place(Matahari)for several times, but always fail to find, and in the end when everyone has left, both of us went back to matahari. Pris saw one and she ask the salesgirl there, i wasn't aware of it and so the shoe suits and i bought it.
Next it was my turn, i accompanied her to Juwis optical, there she meet up wif her father, and her condition improved loh. Next was choosing, she wants the nerdy style, she look around and it seems that she like none but still in the end with her father's judgment she found one, among all the specs she've tried that suits her most. Next she went home and i was left alone then 10 mins ltr i was fetched.

After reaching home, shower and do some stuffs mom&dad came back. Seems that they're going somewhere, i asked mom, she said she's going to hospital my aunt has given birth to her baby girl, lol.
hahha... grandma got another granddaughter and i another cousin..
But kids are not allowed to see newborn babies, so i guess i won't be seeing her these days or even weeks... ahahahaha.

huh.. another trouble again this morning, aftr eating as usual i clean my teeth, and when i was using the toothpick in cleaning the brace-thingy drops.. luckily i didn't lost it or everything will be distracted.. hmm, What a hassle, anyway this coming Friday will be the 3rd week so just wait for Friday to arrive..
so much for everything.
and btw tomorrow no classes.. but I prefer there is, cos boring at home.
bbfn.

"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
-Peace Pilgrim

++

uh.. first week of school has arrived..
why time run so fast??
huh... i hate these days!!
I'm changing, try to change for better..
so that everything would go well in life..

Today in school, the only thing that i rmbr is during biology time..
wth, the tchr is so dislikeable.. up down left right there's nthg to like frm her.. hahhaha.... i bet i can't get to learn much frm her..
I still miss the old one, ms. Marita.. she's really a fantastic tchr, the way she teach is cool and stylish, and she gets along well with students. wahahha.... i miss her ballrolling.. I learnt a lot frm her.. not only me but my frens.. I won't forget that.
what a pity those new students won't ever get to experience that..
hohohoho....
ok.. so this was what happened..
i forgot to bring my ntbk! she left us an assignment, i forgot the whole thing meh..
everyone passed ther ntbks only i didn't.. aaaggghh!!
and she asked us to make a name tag, put on string then wear it around the neck..
we've made one that is placed on the table.. but she doesn't like it.. wat a hassle..
then i ask for her permission to toilet, and she asked me for what?
go to toilet of course either pee or poo lah, still ask.. like she nvr make a trip to toilet .. eccentric! hahaha... but i dun hate her ya//

tomorow i'm going out wif pris n edwin and maybe the others.. we're going to watch Harry Potter& chamber of secrets?, and to look for shoe again.. hahaha...
haven't found one..
ok lah.. shan't talk anymore..
ttfn.

hate that i love him, hate that i don't love you.