Internship Plans

Today is the submission of our internship documents and thankfully class today was postponed so I have the time to fill in the documents needed to apply for my internship in Bali. Gosh BALI BALI BALI!!!!!!! I am so so excited looking forward to my internship but at the same time I am very worried what if I don't get accepted in the hotel and resorts that I want. I am gonna be in despair. Ah.

After much considerations, I chose 3 hotel/resorts that I fancy

1. Bulgari Hotels & Resorts 

2. Four Seasons at Jimbaran Bay

3. Centara Grand Villas Nusa Dua

I want Bulgari so much! At first it was my senior who told me about his experience there in Bulgari which convinced me to apply at the same place too. Bulgari is really stunning from the pictures that I saw in Google and most importantly it's a 5 star luxurious accommodation (excuse me while I wipe my drool)!! 

Resort Views

 Room Interiors

Fine Dining

Water Wedding
                                                                                                                                                              pictures are from Google.

Simply enchanting isn't it! But the bad news is that one of my lecturers said he had talked to someone from Bulgari about our internship but that someone told him we won't be able to make it into Bulgari because they will have began interns earlier before our schedule is set to. I felt disheartened and still refuse to be convinced so I asked another lecturer, he told me it's still possible despite I have said that someone from Bulgari had talked to our lecturer. Still I wouldn't dare to expect so much as I fear the bigger disappointment I will get and so I searched for alternative hotels and found the alluring Four Seasons

Bar & Lounge

pictures are courtesy of Four Seasons

Last but not the least, when I have left with no more choices then it's Centara Grand Villas.

Well not much pictures I found as fascinating as the other two, looks like typical resorts for accomodation but since it's also a 5 star hotel and has chains around 13 countries so why not consider? Might not be bad. I have no interest at all in the Kitchen / Pastry division so I will be applying for the Front Office. I actually wanted Restaurant too but at the thought of I might be a put as a waitress.... No. It's not that I don't want to start from a low position but I think it's such a big pity to go all the way to Bali just to be a waitress besides I have been waitressing for several times and I don't enjoy it at all.   

The only thing I am looking forward in my life right now is this internship and the reason I endure working is to save for my living cost later during internship. May everything goes well as planned or even better and hopefully I will get recruited in the resort that I want.

Goodluck to me and goonight!!!

SATURNIGHT

Just staying at home tonight after sending Eka off to the airport earlier. Feels so quick. Still remember the moment when he told me that he was coming back here, then today comes and he's returned again. It's all time's doing. Time has passed so quickly that I feel like I am losing it.

I am happy to just stay at home tonight. This week has been so tiring I barely slept for 7 hours a day since Monday. Finally tonight I can get a good night sleep especially when it's pouring outside right now. Such a perfect night I really feel grateful! But there's another thing inside me. I have been feeling so dejected for the whole day. It started out last night. I am feeling so asdfghjklsad trying to let go things inside of me, it's so hard but I have to. Time, all I need is just time, time will wash everything away and since I am fully aware of this all the more I should not allow myself to sink into those unhappiness. I have to be realistic but what makes things worse is my own self. So many dramas are running inside and agitating me. So much noises inside! Why do I have to think and feel so much. Why do I have to be easily bothered. Why I can't hold a grip of myself. Why I just can't let things go. Why why why!!!!!!!! 

I HATE THE ENVIRONMENT OF MY JOB

Is the title of my blog tonight clear enough? I do not hate my job but its environment, which is driving me mad. So long as I still work there, I will never feel like I am truly living a life because all I get to feel there is lifeless. No space to grow, too much uneasiness, so much frets and having to stand on some looks. So fed up. I don't know why but I just can sense it and I don't know if my senses are right but that's how I feel. Whenever I am on my phone and my boss sees me I FEEL like he's unhappy about it. He actually ever told me off for focusing too much on my phone and honestly I really can't take this lying down. Yes I admit I am always on BBM, WhatsApp, LINE, Emails and in fact very active on each of them but what crap does he know? At least half of the time I spent on my phone is getting my work done and the rest when I no longer have works to do! I use social apps to inform debtors about their due payments and emails to check the invoices that they are going to pay and at the same time sending them their credit statements. I feel so wronged. Each time he summons me I am always scared that he's going to tell me off again for using too much of my phone.You think I am having fun with my phone when actually I am using it to accomplish works for you! My goodness I truly can't stand staying there anymore, this is just one of those unpleasantness.

I am going to approach him tomorrow. No, not to explain the phone thingy because I don't care what he thinks and I am not the kind of person that has so much energy to explain things to unnecessary people. How much I wish that I am going to talk to him about tendering my resignation but dear, it's just not the time yet. I am in the endurance period. I don't feel like writing what happened because it's too exhausting. Just thinking about the matter itself is already draining me out. I am afraid my boss is going to blame me for not telling him about this matter sooner, it's been dragging for like 2 months? I really don't wish to talk to him. I feel all my cells are bursting, bones breaking, organs malfunctioning, hair falling, muscles tearing, blood freezing, teeth shaking, nose bleeding at the thought of probably having to explain a mountain to him tomorrow. Well that's a bit too much but it's just how agonizing I feel working there. Somebody please save me! I just want to resign quickly and return to life!

This is for you boss!