Happy Vesak and I Passed!

 Happy Vesak 2557

Prince Siddhartha was born on this day,
Became enlightened and found peace on this day,
But sadly, on this day he also passed away.

Children wait till night,
To see Vesak bloom and the streets filled with lights,
And the full moon like a pie,
shining ever so bright.

Incense sticks are lit, its smell
binding us to Lord Buddha's past.
Buddhist flags are cast,
Even after Vesak is over,
its memories last.

Devas might be smiling
while they watch us one by one,
Pay gratitude to the Enlightened One.

By Shenali Wijesinghe (10 years), Asian International School

Few months ago when I saw that picture (above) in Facebook, a strong urge pushed me to draw the Buddha despite how terrible I am at drawing. I think I posted that I can't even draw a proper tree years ago in one of my posts but nothing could stop me and I began drawing. Still remember how serious and passionate and carefully I was drawing on that moment till halfway I stopped because it was already late. As time passes, there was still no urge to continue. You know when you do something you have to be driven to do it really well so until today on this Vesak Day I really want to finish it and write "Happy Vesak Day" at the bottom of the paper. Who knows.....


I couldn't find the paper I drew.............


Getting sad won't solve the problem, Buddha taught us not to be attached to anything, they will only bring you sufferings. Nothing is permanent.

I decided to draw a new one, but I can't do it well because I push myself to draw. It needs to be done naturally. So until half again I am doing it... someday later maybe I will complete it.

Going to temple tonight!

Happy Birthday Buddha Gotama.
Thank You.
May all beings be happy
One thing in my life that I am most grateful of and is precious to me is learning Buddhism.

And yesterday was the announcement of the National Exam results. When we were assembled together and listening to the teachers I really didn't know what to feel. It was so confusing to choose between to feel relieve or anxious. One side broke to us that none of us failed but then the other side starts to act otherwise. Some even began crying. When I chose to feel relieve they made me anxious and then to relieve me again. That screwed feeling.... ugh.

When we were to open our results together, I didn't!!! I was nervous!! I just kept on peeping at my paper. I didn't care about the FAILED or PASSED word. I was more stressed to face my score.......

For Bahasa Indonesia I am very surprised it turned out better than my expectation. During the exam I finished it till the last minute still feeling unsure, it was really harder than usual, I had no faith in my answers at all. Thankful! But I wish I got 3 more items correctly. STILL THANKFUL!

I didn't expect to only have 1 mistake in English, this is impressive!
Maths is insanity. Ahhhhhh
The subject I used to hate and suck most at, became a touching story for me~ I want to thank my Maths teacher so much because I believe he taught us so well, this is the proof. Thank you!!!
I only made 2 mistakes in the exam!! Unbelievable!!!
Waking up at 2 am to study till morning, my efforts were not wasted!
Though I think I have forgotten what I learned now.

Economics also got better than I expected, while Sociology is so devastating. That is not what I expected. I said I don't want to have a 6. I think I have underestimated this subject...
Confidence did not help much in Geography.

Average = 7.94
Only a mere of 0.06 to get an 8 is making me hysterical!!!


And I am wondering why my Mom can text me and I can text her back too while she is in China......

The next phase of my life now begins.
Goodbye school. I love you!
Thank you for the memories and shaping me to what I am today.
Thank you for giving me the people that were and still in my life.
Can't see you anymore. 

First JOB Interview

First of all

Happy 19th Birthday Audina!!!

Yesterday at Nelly's home I received a call from the car company that I applied! Damn hyped and very excited about it. Felt good. They asked me to go over for interview today at 11. I rushed and wanted to be on time, or earlier to create a good impression but alas leopard never changes its spot, I didn't make it at 11am sharp. Anyway I want to blame houseworks for that, all thanks to mopping and sweeping the floor that took so much of my time. This house DESPERATELY NEEDS a maid! Been doing houseworks since young and it's making me so sick of it! I hate it so much.
So when I reached there I look for the person I was told, I was happily imagining working in a showroom. Then a lady escort me to another showroom instead and gave me a paper to fill in. Damn, I wrote so ugly because I was really nervous and my hand kept on trembling, had a hard time to keep calm and took a long time to fill in the paper until the HR in-charge asked me in, I told her I haven't finished and she said just finished it inside. I really took a long time to answer while she's waiting for me, she must have waited for so long.
I can't answer questions like this:
1. Give 3 of your strengths
2. Give a reason why our company is worth hiring you.

I hate those kind of questions.
It has passed anyway and I don't feel like writing anymore, anyway I can't agree to its policy. Do you imagine working everyday and only get a 2 days rest in a month? I am not a steel nor a robot.

Stayed in school after the interview until they are done with the Prom thingy before proceeding to give Audina a surprise!

Then we accompanied her to look for a gown for Prom. We will have our senior prom on the 1st of June.Talking about prom makes me agitated. I rented a gown for Rp 320.000 and bought heels for Rp 340.000! Bleeding the hell out of me. another make-up and hairdo means extra money! For Heaven's sake.
After Audina found her gown, we went for dinner. Her gown is ravishing!!!
And I walked home.
 

16th of the month

When it comes to the 16th of every month it means ALLOWANCE DAY!

But actually it is never punctual, we always receive our allowance in delay. My dad is busy, how can he remember such thing and his struggle (in business) always puts us off to ask our allowance from him. When I want something, I NEVER ask it from him directly. I couldn't. It is always through my mom. I really can't bear to ask anything from him. I know he won't say no, that's why I know I will only be adding his burdens. I also keep on refraining myself to 'play' when he's around. Play means like: using my phone, touch the ipad, etc. I don't him to think that I am already big but still insensible. Sometimes in the past, it's possible to not see him at all for a whole day, I don't really communicate with my Dad and that's what really sad for me... I wish we were closer.. even my siblings too. The thing that I have always wanted to do but never have the chance yet is just to give him a massage.... I wish someday I could. 

So if everything goes well, tomorrow I will be submitting a cv to a car company. They posted an ad on the newspaper, they are hiring! I got attracted to its Marketing because the requirements are damn simple: owning a driving license and graduate of senior high school. That's all. I want to give it a shot so I turned down ce Yina's recommendation. I went to Central today to have her review my cv but the laptop battery was drained so I just asked her to send an example of good cv to me. She told me that she was afraid the job isn't really 'marketing' she was afraid the job is being the 'coach' for test drives, because why would you need a driving license? I agree with her...  

I don't know. I am confused. Anyway no harm submitting. IF I get picked then I will be given the full details of my job and if it doesn't turn out to be what I want I can simply reject! I need to rush out another cv asap.

Tomorrow will be the general rehearsal for our graduation. I am really pissed that some of our classmates are such non-chalant. So indifferent and unconcerned. HELLO? We are going to have a graduation and they only came ONCE for the practice or leave before the practice ends. Where are their senses? How could they don't give a hoot at all? Graduation is a big event in life. If you can't even appreciate it, I really don't know how you need to carry on your lives. None of my business actually, just saying.

It's 16th of May! I can never forget this day! Precisely today a year ago, I started to join Batam Tectona, my volleyball club! But my time in the club is less than a year, only roughly around 6-7 months.. I am so passionate towards this sport. I thought joining the team can make me a professional player but I have stopped training since February!! 

It's been damn 3 months I have stopped and this is not what I want!!! Sigh. 

It all started because I injured my themor (lower part of the thumb) while playing volleyball at school. It was really painful at first and I just let it be thinking it will heal by itself. I had also been aiding myself, applying meds and giving it a rub on my own. Who knows as time passes by, instead of healing it got worse. It hurts everytime I am on training especially while tossing the ball. My themor was badly swollen and I only started to get myself treated 3 months after the incident. Outrageous huh? I visited so many different physicians just to cure my hand, I even went very faraway just to get treated. It was despairing that my hand never got better until my aunt recommended a place where his husband was treated. After 2x of bandaging, the swell was completely off. Nothing beats that happiness of recovering!

Since my hand just got recovered my Mom didn't allow me to return training. Well even if I didn't get injured, she still won't allow me. At the same time Chinese New Year was approaching so I just stopped and who knows until today I still have not returned yet. Very saddening.

You have to know how hard it was for me to keep staying in the club. Too many obstacles and lots of problems that made me grieved. The tears that I shed just to keep on training. I never failed crying after every training, not because of the harsh train. But.... ( I don't think I will say it)

I always have to leave training before it ends just to rush home and I would go home getting scolded and worse than that. Never had a perfect thorough training. Thinking of all that is making my tears flowing. Really sad that I am not allowed to do one of the things I love most in life. It was really hard to have no support from the people that I needed. Nevermind if there were no supports but why give me pressure? and those abuses... mentally and physically.

Anyway I doubt I will ever go back to the club anymore. Just sometime ago I learned that my coach has been assigned a project and need to move to another city for 8 months. It is impossible to train without him. He is our only backing because he is a chinese like us. If he's gone how do I and Vivi continue training without a chinese at all in the club? We will only be treated as air.

Because of his departure we can't go back anymore.... 

I really don't want to stop training!!! I want to be a professional player.

I guess it's only just a dream to me now..?

Picture from Google

Writing in the dark

Been going to school to do the rehearsals for our upcoming graduation on this Saturday, 18th of May. 2 more to go before the final general rehearsal, which is this Friday. On the 25th will be the announcement of PASS or FAILED in the National Exam. The defining moment of our life.

Since school ended, I really have nothing to do at home. I can't believe I keep on sitting the day away.
1. Wake Up
2. Breakfast + Procrastinate
3. Mop the floor (the maid left after a month working! damn!)
4. No Rehearsal = wasting the day at home / go to granny's
5. Home. Bath and dinner
6. Ironing Clothes
7. Play till late night and sleep

I really hate that daily routine. Such a waste of life. I really wish school is still available. Sigh.
Yes, I know, I better get a job right? Some of my friends have started working. Let's talk about getting a job.

Ce Yina has been such a kind person. She has been recommending jobs for me. First was ticketing at a Tour and Travel company. I should get hyped right? Since it's the place where I wish to work. I even prepared a cv,  I went to google to see how to make one but I am still doubting the format.... is it really like this?!

I personally love the format because it is precise, clear and straightforward. Unlike those typical listings of biodata. Too boring and very ordinary.

I am only halfway done with the cv. I don't know how to fill in some data like 'Experience' since I just graduated from school and I have nothing more to add. 'Scholarships and Certificates'? I feel so sorry to say how worthless I was in school. I didn't have any achievements at all. What a failure! I am!

I think I can't have the job because it is very unclear. I asked Ce Yina for the direct person to contact but I got nothing. So I think this job is out. Actually I have been eyeing on a new hotel that is still under construction. It is almost done and commercial says 'Opening Soon'. So I went there to check for job vacancies but to no avail. Have they started recruiting? I need to act fast or all vacancies will be filled. I really wish to work in this new hotel. I will dig further information. I am set to grab a job there.
Again today Ce Yina recommended me another job again, she told me it's a work in the hotel. Of course I was delighted to receive the news, hotel is another place where I wish to work. When I ask what position is it my joy dropped. It's the Accounting department.
The word Accounting really creeps me out. I have said I won't do Accounting, because I am really fear of it. I don't even know what on earth do I know about accounting. General Journal? Taxes? That's all I know probably. It's tough. I have never been good in Maths and Accounting has it, plus the journal thingy, I have a really big fear of bungling up the work.
But I know I must not run away. I feel the need to face up to it and learn if I can't! Anyway this is the right time for me to gain experiences. As I have said before I practically wanna taste every job before I really stick to one job: my dream job.
One problem about this hotel job is the hotel is really far. I have no idea if my parents will agree. And I don't know if I will have problems with it. I really don't wish to say No to Ce Yina......
Talking about my parents, my dad has his own business. I should work for him right? or help. I know they expect me to help my dad but you know his company is damn far away, almost out from the city so I really am not interested...... I am scared my Dad will get angry or disappointed over this. Besides I really want to have a taste of working outside. Actually before this second recommendation from Ce Yina, I have made up my mind to work at my Dad's until University starts. When U starts then I will find a job out there. At least when I have helped Dad, I hope to hear no more 'undutiful', 'useless', 'ungrateful' and those words.
Maybe if this 2nd recommendation doesn't pull through, I will really just settle at my Dad's first.
Poor Dad, too many problems are arising right now at his business, which has also caused me unable to further my studies abroad, in Singapore. You know it's been a dream since young to study abroad, it was something that is already set since young but suddenly..... yeah, I have come terms to it anyway :)
Since I will only be taking a diploma in U, hopefully by 3 years later our financial state will be good again or better. That my Dad will already be capable of sending me abroad for my bachelor degree. I will also work hard to earn money though I strongly believe I won't save much. After all, there is still hope for me to go abroad!
SWITZERLAND! _/|\_

May everyone be happy!


Check out Avril's new single music video!

So glad to see young Avril back in the new video. Really love the young her when she first debuted. Her style is beyond stylish. She is the only one earth that wears a tie with a tanktop. She was the first one. And she never ages! 11 years have passed and she still looks the same. I think the video contains some messages but I can't figure them out. She looks stunning in her prom dress! So much love for her! xoxo


And I really love this cover by Tiffany Alvord. So lovely!

Love both the male and female's voice! There's a chemistry in their voices. I think they sang it better than the original singer. Love this!


Pictures are from Google
Videos are from Youtube