thursday thoughts

We are dismissed early again today, had some desk clearance.
We had our mulok exam today, quite ok.

Everyday i live life like the previous days, i get busy with studies and things in life. Too busy and too long to forget one certain thing in life. That is death.
Everday life goes on, when i thought i'll get old, it just seemed so impossible and so far away. Living still like a child everyday, i can't accept that this is just a little moment in life. I'm turning 15 next year and i don't want that. I want to be in my 14 forever, but i know that is impossible. How does death feel like?
As time gets by, i notice the things around me seem to get pathetic.
I miss the days when i look on the sky and the sky just seemed so close.
Now when i look on the sky, the sky seems so far away.
Stars are also unseen at night.
And what's worse is that it's getting hotter everyday, the heat is so unbearable.
I hope things just get better someday.
The old days which are already pictured in black&white will light up in colours again, things will get better like before.

"I was wrong about you."

Teacher's day

We are dismissed early today, i think part of the reasoin is because that today is teacher's day. Justin asked me out but i can't. They're going to watch twilight, new moon. I haven't watched twilight and now you want me to watch new moon? I just borrow twilight from hye rin today. After i got home, washed and prepared myself. I'm going out with mom.
We went to bcs, actually was to look for my jeans but ended up you know, when one sees something she likes she'll forget what she's there for. hahhaha..
We went to match, no suitable jeans there. Ended up buying a monkey style outfit, Agus said that kind of outfit is a monkey style outfit and mom bought a dress.
To the neighbor next, Setron. Bought a jeans. Shopped around and around and bought a book for UN preparations.
After buying clothes we went to Godiva for meal and go home.
Allright, no long details next.
Reached home and is going to sleepp now.

"Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness."
-Richard Carlson

bye!

swimming

I woke up this morning at 9++. Took a bath and cut my hair, fixed everything at 10++. Since there's another an hour to go, i did some revisions and waited for Vivi. I guess i was nervous, during revising my hands kept on trembling and i keep on looking at the time, unable to study well. The book i used for revisons was Eka's. He was so good that he specially delivered the books to me when i asked him to. I then received text from Vivi, she says she's coming. So i went outside to wait and saw Kenny's car, he's going already.
Soon Vivi arrived, we walked together to Primagama. It is very close actually. Walking only takes about 2-3mins. We saw a lot of people coming out from Primagama and hurrily walk. We stayed at the door and make a call to kenny, we wanted him to bring us in cos he was there alreaddy. The lady gave us a paper and we enter the Jupiter room. Inside i saw Tassya, Jacq& her cousin. They've arrived earlier.
After a while a lady came in and we began the test. There's a guy that looks quite annoying. He tied a rafia around his head, looks so ridiculous. lol.
100 items, consist of 4lessons for 2hours. Impossible!
My brain wasn't thinking at that time, i should have thought of doing 15 items per lesson and be sure of thOSE 15 to get 6.
They're all done and i'm about the last one to finish. No choice but to mark what's there. We then talked about the test outside Primagama, received texts from Claudia and Eka. Vivi is going with me cos we're going to Rachel's home together. She insisted that we took a ride from Kenny. Yeah, since i live so much close to him.
Hi auntie! thanks ya! bye!. those are the 3words we said in the car.

There's no one at home, everybody had left as usual. I finish all the works and Vivi is running around the vicinity to get her psp from Pris and to her brother. We both had lunch and off we go to Rachel's.
We ride on ojek to the Apartment. The security here seems a bit loose. If I and Vivi were terrorists in disguise, that apartment would have been bombed and hit the headlines!
Ting-tong-ting-tong. She opened the door and we went in, chatted with her and Nelly arrived. Vivi taught her maths and after she understood the lesson, it's swimming time! We changed to swimmingsuit and ito the water. I asked Vivi to teach me kodok style and i'm getting the hang of it. Next learning the sharp style jump to water.
Vivi is good in swimming, i lack of bravery and diddn't dare to jump into the water sharply. You know what, the hotel opposite the apartment is so full of lechers. They kept on looking at us and make some cheers. When vivi jumped into the water, they whistled. Wait till your boss catch you and you're all doomed. Nelly was not roght, she swam for a while and stopped and she was faraid that those perverts might think that we're prostitutes. Phey!
After swimming, we went to McDonald's for meal. It was dark already and the 4 of us walked to there. After meal, Nelly's mom took us home.
That's today.

"Everything that has been will be, everything that will be is, everything that will be has been."
-Eugene Lonesco

bye and peaceful night.

with Phin

We wanted to watch 2012 today, I, Josephine, Juzz and Nelly. But tickets were sold out so still unsure if we'll still go as planned. In the end, Josephine texted me and we decided to go to MM.
2012 tickets were sold out too. We had no choice but to watch another movie, we watched "A Christmas Carol". We walked around before the movie starts, looking for jeans and shoes. But in the end, empty-handed. We then enter the theatre and watch the movie, the writer was Charles Dickens. I like his story "David Copperfield", the first novel I read, 133pages. The movie is ok.
After the show, we went to Pizza Hut for meal and home together.
We're going to have our tryout tomorrow in Primagama, drats I haven't revise anything yet! Will be going to Rachel's home tomorrow.
looking forward to both the tryout and to Rachel's home.

bye:]

determined to improve

yeah, i finally have the time to post blog. I'll post a long one today.

Let's start from this morning. I set off to school and first subject was Fisika, but Pak Fauzin wasn't here.. so we were given the task to do our tryout papers again. Actually after this we have our Religion exam, so while answering the papers we did revisions too. I sat with Vivi, Agus and Juzz, we studied together.
Next was the examination, ermm.. I should say it's not difficult if you had studied.
I was the first one to finish and followd by Vivi and the rest.
Vivi brought goodies for us today, she's really good to us. Despite of it.
It pays to be kind, but it doesn't pay when she is kind to us. I'm so like shit.
So I've decided somthing.. Everything shall be paid..
There's one thing that i really don't get it, I don't know why i am always the one getting scolded. It's so absurd, when questions are asked to me, i replied and end up getting scolded by them. They are none other than Agus and Juzz!!!!!!!!
They always scold or i should say shout, when i answer the wrong thing they strongly oppose and they are like about to gulp me, especially Agus and when i say the right thing, they find it ridiculous, hence i get the scoldings again.. haiihh..
But in the end, always end up laughing together, lol..

I spent my reccess time today with Vivi and Pris. And i guess it'll be this way again. After reccess was mtk followed by kimia and during kimia time the teacher gave us tryout results paper. Damn it, my grades were a rotten one..
Among 24 students, 8 didn't passed. But this is just a tryout, not real UAN. May everybody pass the UAN and ofc with flying colors. Average score is 5.5, my score is 5.89 that's very low. So devastating, but it gives me the determination to work harder for the next and the next and the next.
Bahasa Indonesia: 6.40
English: 8.80
MTk: 6.00
BIO&FISIKA: 4.00 & 4.25.
Total: 29.45, Average: 5.89. Passed.
Average score should be 5.5
My English was 2nd highest with Kenny and Juzz. Highest is Ronald.

There are tests coming, Chemistry and Math. Math was quite easy, but as for chemistry balancing equations are damnn difficult. We were asking one and another an dit was very niosy and annoying, A calls for B and C calls for A and D calls for B. It was like that and was like, die together, survive together..
Next dimissal timee...

The people in my home are all out, only 3 are left at home and they're dad&mom and I!! The rest go watching 2012 in cinema. I wan tto watch it too.. but i've asked juzz tomorrow. And if i'll go watch it, i'll get another scolding for sure. Last week was cancelled and i was ranted. If i'll cancel tomoorrow, I'm gonna die at his gigantic hand. lol no offence justin! But i doubt of tomorrow. And i guess today is the last day for 2012 show. Don't get why the heck the movie is going to be remove.
And i got an invitation today. I believe this invitation is a kind of once-in-a-lifetime. but i'm not sure too whether i'm really invited, cos... erhmm.. forget it!

I mnade a challenge with Juzz today and i blieve i'll win it. I'll survive and make sure it really stays this way for 3++months. Just you wait and see justin!!
I didnt even look at the windows of the soul. Got it?

tomorrow got dates
Sunday got a date.
on Sunday I and vivi and the rest will be going to Primagama for tryouts and a trip to Rachel's home..
woooww... looking forward to all of it..
haha.. i guess i'll end it here..
Game session now.
bye and peaceful night!

Vous a jamais semblé signifie tout ce que vous avez dit à mes yeux, et je suppose que c'est mieux si nous allons conserver une distance.
-my feeling today

new interest

hi!
limitedd time here...
short post only today.
I got a new interest, during p.e time we had dodgeball..
crazzyyy funn... i love dodgeball!!!

tomorrow got Religion exam, revised a bit and played game...
ok, will post longer tomorrow..
gtg brushing teeth and sleeeppp...

bye&peaceful night

"I don't know why but you mean a lot to me."
-my feeling today

bright feeling

hihihi...
I feel very great today, how i wish if i'm always feeling this way. After the try out, we decided to play volleyball but there were raindrops outside.
I watched a badminton game it seems so fun, come to think of it I had not played for ages and we took our reccess earlier, bought sushi from Eka's sis, delish!


Today is the last day of weekdays, at the thought of weekends, i feel very happy. It's time for resting!
I wanted to write today, but now when i'm writing i suddenly forget what i wanna write.
Now i remember!
A robbery took place at school this morning, you know when i heard of this, i found it damn outrageous! Imagine the robber robs from a car! Damn it, how could no one notice that? The mirror was crushed. What the hell were those security guards doing?
Still got cheeks to tell the story of what was going on, lol.
We spent our free time in library and noticed that there are 'reporters' outside, taking pictures of the scene. But the car was gone.
Had our lessons next, uuhh I was amazed by our chemistry little experiment today, it is so magical!! I recall stuffs like, lacmus paper(unsure of the spelling and language) and what Na(sodium).... The main idea is to identify the asam, basa and garam. Whoa, chemistry is so fun. Right then, i thought of making a chemistry lab someday in my home. lol
English was next, oh how i really hate grammar, grammar is so difficult and that's why my English is so poor.

During lunch time, i should say the meal was going on silently. After finishing my lunch i left the table and stay at usual place, there i saw Rachel, Wan Jia Qi.
She's alone, so i chatted with her and today was the first time so close to her.
She has a dream, and i too but what's different is that i have dreams while she only a dream. She's damn happy when i made a compliment of her artpiece, yes it was good.
I don't give compliments easily. She was really happy, i could stilll remember how happy she was when chatting with me. I made a friend!

After lunch next was mtk, laughed a lot during that period. Next triple tchr. Raul's subject. But we only did chemistry exercises and did not get on with math. Chemistry is getting harder. I finished my exercise with the help of Joe, from numbers1-6.
And part 2, thanks to Edwin:]!!! After i finished my work, i went to Jacq. To my surprise that she and others were still unfinished and i feel bad cos unable to help them when they asked for my help.

Dismissal time! When i got downstairs, i saw SOMEBODY! My girlfren's boyfren..
hihi... but it seemed that fate doesn't allow them to meet each other, that was just a short close distance. Well, maybe next time.

By the way, 2012 is in cinemas already. My big bro is going to watch tonight, I want to watch too, you guys want or not?
you guys know who you are. Want? Want? Want?

I'm in a good mood today, hence i took pictures.



my lil bro while eating, now i noticed the cute side of him.




I LOVE FIRE!!

Our home is full of mangoes, now we eat mangoes evryday. They are ripe and sweet!



Allright, game session time.
ttfn

"He who goes step by step always finds himself level with a step."
-Antonio Porchia

double taste

the last try out willl be on tomorrow.
it's English, no worries.. lol

haiyoo, i'm so fed up after they told me my results of those try out..
ughh.. so mad!!
and bcos of that i felt so low the whole morning to noon..
And i want to apologize to Edwin, cos i was harsh to him during ppkn time..
sorry; didn't meant to.
And I just wanna say something to everyone; please don't assume that i'm angry just because of my 'black-face'.. It's just that i don't feel like speaking and is feeling low..
So don't assume that i'm mad at you, or whoever...
And 'black-face' has always been my style..
I'm sure everyone close to me knows that..
lol

It rains during p.e time, so no sport activities..
So we played police&thief and hide&seek..
but i quitted after a while, no fun at all...
and chatted with Hye Rin, borrow 2DVDs from her.
Went to granny's home after dismissal, stayed for a while.
My lil cousin(the one born on July18) shaved her head..
she's bald now, lol.. and turning 4months on this coming Nov18.
babies are so cute..
bald, chubby and fair..
allright, won't talk much..
got to go for game sessions..
bye bye bye...

"Look down at me and you see a fool;
look up at me and you see a god;
look straight at me and you see yourself"
-Charles Manson
(American .will stay in jail for the rest of his life for conspiracy to murder b.1934)

sundayy

i was alone at home again today. Infact on every weekends. I like it, it's peaceful and no noises. I hate noises, but still it depends on the situation.

We're going to have our first tryout tomorrow, it's bahasa indonesia.
I did some revisions from the previous questioneirs, taking it easy..
lol

I want December to hurry arrive. End exams sooner and get on the vacation.
I'm so thrilled at the thought of going to spend my holiday with her, my granny.
Cos on this year, we(i &siblings) rarely visits her, unlike before.
actually the last time we visit her as well as relatives was on friday, 2days ago. lol
She lives with her son and grandchildrens, and the house next to her's is my aunt's, her daughter. It's great that she still has her children living with her, or if she'll be alone that's so pitiful.
Like those abandoned old folks in drama serials.
Damn their wretched unfilial children..

I'd like to tell readers that if you'd like updates, can visit juzzjuzz.blogspot.com or easily click by the link (right, down). He's a classmate, naturally will be posting my affairs too. lol
Because now i don't have time for updates.
As well as doing free publicity for juzz too. lol

Currently watching detective ??? starred by Aaron Kwok. The movie seemed quite old. Pretty nice!
But can't finish it, cos i'm turning in.
Got to go
bye

a foul day

time passes so quickly, it's Friday again..
I'm not happy today, early in the morning has been a foul one and another one..
I'm so .......... unable to express what i feel.
words can't be used to express my feelings..
all i know that i dislike today veryy much...
***

I watched the drama, (welcome back, my love), today's the last episode, i like it very much though i rarely watch...
Next week we gonna have our first try out, and get to school tomorrow for pemantapan.. what a beat day.
I broke the agreement today, cos i don't have the time to studyy...

i'm so not in the mood today, i'll just end it here..
but suddenly i'm reminded of one of Avril Lavigne's song that describe my feelings best todayy..

I CAN DO BETTER - Avril Lavigne

I couldn't give a damn what you said to me
I don't really care what you think of me
'Cause either way you're gonna think what you believe
There's nothing you could say that would hurt me

I'm better off without you anyway
I thought it would be hard but I'm okay
I don't need you if you're gonna be that way
'Cause with me, it's all or nothing

I'm sick of this shit, don't deny
You're a waste of time
I'm sick of this shit, don't ask why

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better

You're so full of shit I can't stand
The way you act I just can't comprehend
I don't think that you can handle it
I'm way over, over it

I will drink as much Lemoncello as I can
And I'll do it again and again
I don't really care what you have to say
'Cause you know, you know you're nothing

I'm sick of your shit, don't deny
You're a waste of time
I'm sick of your shit, don't ask why

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better

Whad'ya say, I told you so
You know that 'cause I always know
Get out my face, hey hey
You're not my taste, hey hey

I am so sick of you
You're on my nerves, I want to puke
Get outta my face, hey hey
You're not my taste, hey hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better


*listening to "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson

"Let honor be to us as strong an obligation as necessity is to others."
-William Pitt