determined to improve

yeah, i finally have the time to post blog. I'll post a long one today.

Let's start from this morning. I set off to school and first subject was Fisika, but Pak Fauzin wasn't here.. so we were given the task to do our tryout papers again. Actually after this we have our Religion exam, so while answering the papers we did revisions too. I sat with Vivi, Agus and Juzz, we studied together.
Next was the examination, ermm.. I should say it's not difficult if you had studied.
I was the first one to finish and followd by Vivi and the rest.
Vivi brought goodies for us today, she's really good to us. Despite of it.
It pays to be kind, but it doesn't pay when she is kind to us. I'm so like shit.
So I've decided somthing.. Everything shall be paid..
There's one thing that i really don't get it, I don't know why i am always the one getting scolded. It's so absurd, when questions are asked to me, i replied and end up getting scolded by them. They are none other than Agus and Juzz!!!!!!!!
They always scold or i should say shout, when i answer the wrong thing they strongly oppose and they are like about to gulp me, especially Agus and when i say the right thing, they find it ridiculous, hence i get the scoldings again.. haiihh..
But in the end, always end up laughing together, lol..

I spent my reccess time today with Vivi and Pris. And i guess it'll be this way again. After reccess was mtk followed by kimia and during kimia time the teacher gave us tryout results paper. Damn it, my grades were a rotten one..
Among 24 students, 8 didn't passed. But this is just a tryout, not real UAN. May everybody pass the UAN and ofc with flying colors. Average score is 5.5, my score is 5.89 that's very low. So devastating, but it gives me the determination to work harder for the next and the next and the next.
Bahasa Indonesia: 6.40
English: 8.80
MTk: 6.00
BIO&FISIKA: 4.00 & 4.25.
Total: 29.45, Average: 5.89. Passed.
Average score should be 5.5
My English was 2nd highest with Kenny and Juzz. Highest is Ronald.

There are tests coming, Chemistry and Math. Math was quite easy, but as for chemistry balancing equations are damnn difficult. We were asking one and another an dit was very niosy and annoying, A calls for B and C calls for A and D calls for B. It was like that and was like, die together, survive together..
Next dimissal timee...

The people in my home are all out, only 3 are left at home and they're dad&mom and I!! The rest go watching 2012 in cinema. I wan tto watch it too.. but i've asked juzz tomorrow. And if i'll go watch it, i'll get another scolding for sure. Last week was cancelled and i was ranted. If i'll cancel tomoorrow, I'm gonna die at his gigantic hand. lol no offence justin! But i doubt of tomorrow. And i guess today is the last day for 2012 show. Don't get why the heck the movie is going to be remove.
And i got an invitation today. I believe this invitation is a kind of once-in-a-lifetime. but i'm not sure too whether i'm really invited, cos... erhmm.. forget it!

I mnade a challenge with Juzz today and i blieve i'll win it. I'll survive and make sure it really stays this way for 3++months. Just you wait and see justin!!
I didnt even look at the windows of the soul. Got it?

tomorrow got dates
Sunday got a date.
on Sunday I and vivi and the rest will be going to Primagama for tryouts and a trip to Rachel's home..
woooww... looking forward to all of it..
haha.. i guess i'll end it here..
Game session now.
bye and peaceful night!

Vous a jamais semblé signifie tout ce que vous avez dit à mes yeux, et je suppose que c'est mieux si nous allons conserver une distance.
-my feeling today

new interest

hi!
limitedd time here...
short post only today.
I got a new interest, during p.e time we had dodgeball..
crazzyyy funn... i love dodgeball!!!

tomorrow got Religion exam, revised a bit and played game...
ok, will post longer tomorrow..
gtg brushing teeth and sleeeppp...

bye&peaceful night

"I don't know why but you mean a lot to me."
-my feeling today

bright feeling

hihihi...
I feel very great today, how i wish if i'm always feeling this way. After the try out, we decided to play volleyball but there were raindrops outside.
I watched a badminton game it seems so fun, come to think of it I had not played for ages and we took our reccess earlier, bought sushi from Eka's sis, delish!


Today is the last day of weekdays, at the thought of weekends, i feel very happy. It's time for resting!
I wanted to write today, but now when i'm writing i suddenly forget what i wanna write.
Now i remember!
A robbery took place at school this morning, you know when i heard of this, i found it damn outrageous! Imagine the robber robs from a car! Damn it, how could no one notice that? The mirror was crushed. What the hell were those security guards doing?
Still got cheeks to tell the story of what was going on, lol.
We spent our free time in library and noticed that there are 'reporters' outside, taking pictures of the scene. But the car was gone.
Had our lessons next, uuhh I was amazed by our chemistry little experiment today, it is so magical!! I recall stuffs like, lacmus paper(unsure of the spelling and language) and what Na(sodium).... The main idea is to identify the asam, basa and garam. Whoa, chemistry is so fun. Right then, i thought of making a chemistry lab someday in my home. lol
English was next, oh how i really hate grammar, grammar is so difficult and that's why my English is so poor.

During lunch time, i should say the meal was going on silently. After finishing my lunch i left the table and stay at usual place, there i saw Rachel, Wan Jia Qi.
She's alone, so i chatted with her and today was the first time so close to her.
She has a dream, and i too but what's different is that i have dreams while she only a dream. She's damn happy when i made a compliment of her artpiece, yes it was good.
I don't give compliments easily. She was really happy, i could stilll remember how happy she was when chatting with me. I made a friend!

After lunch next was mtk, laughed a lot during that period. Next triple tchr. Raul's subject. But we only did chemistry exercises and did not get on with math. Chemistry is getting harder. I finished my exercise with the help of Joe, from numbers1-6.
And part 2, thanks to Edwin:]!!! After i finished my work, i went to Jacq. To my surprise that she and others were still unfinished and i feel bad cos unable to help them when they asked for my help.

Dismissal time! When i got downstairs, i saw SOMEBODY! My girlfren's boyfren..
hihi... but it seemed that fate doesn't allow them to meet each other, that was just a short close distance. Well, maybe next time.

By the way, 2012 is in cinemas already. My big bro is going to watch tonight, I want to watch too, you guys want or not?
you guys know who you are. Want? Want? Want?

I'm in a good mood today, hence i took pictures.



my lil bro while eating, now i noticed the cute side of him.




I LOVE FIRE!!

Our home is full of mangoes, now we eat mangoes evryday. They are ripe and sweet!



Allright, game session time.
ttfn

"He who goes step by step always finds himself level with a step."
-Antonio Porchia

double taste

the last try out willl be on tomorrow.
it's English, no worries.. lol

haiyoo, i'm so fed up after they told me my results of those try out..
ughh.. so mad!!
and bcos of that i felt so low the whole morning to noon..
And i want to apologize to Edwin, cos i was harsh to him during ppkn time..
sorry; didn't meant to.
And I just wanna say something to everyone; please don't assume that i'm angry just because of my 'black-face'.. It's just that i don't feel like speaking and is feeling low..
So don't assume that i'm mad at you, or whoever...
And 'black-face' has always been my style..
I'm sure everyone close to me knows that..
lol

It rains during p.e time, so no sport activities..
So we played police&thief and hide&seek..
but i quitted after a while, no fun at all...
and chatted with Hye Rin, borrow 2DVDs from her.
Went to granny's home after dismissal, stayed for a while.
My lil cousin(the one born on July18) shaved her head..
she's bald now, lol.. and turning 4months on this coming Nov18.
babies are so cute..
bald, chubby and fair..
allright, won't talk much..
got to go for game sessions..
bye bye bye...

"Look down at me and you see a fool;
look up at me and you see a god;
look straight at me and you see yourself"
-Charles Manson
(American .will stay in jail for the rest of his life for conspiracy to murder b.1934)

sundayy

i was alone at home again today. Infact on every weekends. I like it, it's peaceful and no noises. I hate noises, but still it depends on the situation.

We're going to have our first tryout tomorrow, it's bahasa indonesia.
I did some revisions from the previous questioneirs, taking it easy..
lol

I want December to hurry arrive. End exams sooner and get on the vacation.
I'm so thrilled at the thought of going to spend my holiday with her, my granny.
Cos on this year, we(i &siblings) rarely visits her, unlike before.
actually the last time we visit her as well as relatives was on friday, 2days ago. lol
She lives with her son and grandchildrens, and the house next to her's is my aunt's, her daughter. It's great that she still has her children living with her, or if she'll be alone that's so pitiful.
Like those abandoned old folks in drama serials.
Damn their wretched unfilial children..

I'd like to tell readers that if you'd like updates, can visit juzzjuzz.blogspot.com or easily click by the link (right, down). He's a classmate, naturally will be posting my affairs too. lol
Because now i don't have time for updates.
As well as doing free publicity for juzz too. lol

Currently watching detective ??? starred by Aaron Kwok. The movie seemed quite old. Pretty nice!
But can't finish it, cos i'm turning in.
Got to go
bye

a foul day

time passes so quickly, it's Friday again..
I'm not happy today, early in the morning has been a foul one and another one..
I'm so .......... unable to express what i feel.
words can't be used to express my feelings..
all i know that i dislike today veryy much...
***

I watched the drama, (welcome back, my love), today's the last episode, i like it very much though i rarely watch...
Next week we gonna have our first try out, and get to school tomorrow for pemantapan.. what a beat day.
I broke the agreement today, cos i don't have the time to studyy...

i'm so not in the mood today, i'll just end it here..
but suddenly i'm reminded of one of Avril Lavigne's song that describe my feelings best todayy..

I CAN DO BETTER - Avril Lavigne

I couldn't give a damn what you said to me
I don't really care what you think of me
'Cause either way you're gonna think what you believe
There's nothing you could say that would hurt me

I'm better off without you anyway
I thought it would be hard but I'm okay
I don't need you if you're gonna be that way
'Cause with me, it's all or nothing

I'm sick of this shit, don't deny
You're a waste of time
I'm sick of this shit, don't ask why

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better

You're so full of shit I can't stand
The way you act I just can't comprehend
I don't think that you can handle it
I'm way over, over it

I will drink as much Lemoncello as I can
And I'll do it again and again
I don't really care what you have to say
'Cause you know, you know you're nothing

I'm sick of your shit, don't deny
You're a waste of time
I'm sick of your shit, don't ask why

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better

Whad'ya say, I told you so
You know that 'cause I always know
Get out my face, hey hey
You're not my taste, hey hey

I am so sick of you
You're on my nerves, I want to puke
Get outta my face, hey hey
You're not my taste, hey hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better

I hate you now so go away from me
You're gone, so long, I can do better, I can do better
Hey, hey you, I found myself again
That's why you're gone, I can do better, I can do better


*listening to "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson

"Let honor be to us as strong an obligation as necessity is to others."
-William Pitt

hmm...

hello! I'm back...
It's been weeks since i last post blogs..
Well, i was abducted by the flying saucer, UFO...
That's why..
Hehe..
Allright, actually the main reason is that my limited internet. It has come to its limit thanks to my bro! So i'm using my phone now..

Oh yeah, tomorrow is Halloween's. Come to think of it, i've never had any event on such day, what a pity..

Ok, today our school celebrates WCD. i am not going to write bout it cos it's boring and nothing special..
After the activity is over, i, Nelly and Edwin went to Reynold's to get our confiscated headset and u know what, my headset is not functioning well anymore..
Either the sound is too small although max volume or that the singer's singing go hissed or radio no even a single beat..
huh.. but i'm not blaming anyone.
And after i got off from school, i went swimming with my siblings, again as usual in Palm Spring.
I swam and felt very tired. Now i realized that i don't like swimming. Playing volleyball is a lot more fun..
And i swear i'll never ever again go to that darned place to swim.. NEVER AGAIN!
i'm so pissed..
After swimming, had our meals at KFC.
After we were about to leave that place, i look at a man. He's praying for his food and after praying, he saw me looking at him, I then looked on the other side.
Since that, he's been looking toward me every short while.
Did i do somethin wrong?
I merely see him praying and he's over-reacting.
huhu, pardon me.
Next walking down the stairs, he glanced at me AGAIN!
duh, and stared at me again when i'm already outside of Gelael.
Oh Goodness, he's so weird.

Now i'm in the clinic to kill time, waiting for my turn..

：：
Why do human attitudes differ so much from one and another?
Why can't a person live with good attitudes?
How to change them?
Why are they like this?
I'm so dissapointed..
Just what did i owe you?

hmm... feel like hmm-ing so much so much..!!

~~
I've stopped, maybe.
It's been 3yrs.
Though i know it's not the matter of possessing but to ensure you happiness.
I don't know whether you're happy or not., I can't see you're happy or not, i can only wish u happiness and all because i'm far from you. I haven't see you for ages.
You're like Mercury and I, the Saturn (hyperbole). So far away..
And now i've decided to let go, let everything go.
My time spent for having feelings for you has been a fruitless one.
But i never reggretted.
So far, u're the first in my record, the person whom i had feelings for, for 3years.
You must be so charming!

hehehe...
Actually that's not the reason lah.
But it's bcos i've .....

it's a secret for the time being.
I never expected that it could be you and it's you.
haha.. blossoms.
Please, no more repeatation of history..

haa..
How long more must i wait, doctor and nurses???

idon't feel like ending here, i still wanna write moree..
Oh, my pet society really grieves me..
Ugh, my hard-earned cash!

"Everything changes in a blink of an eye but never that Holy Path."
-Yenny Juwita

see you again..

thurssdayy

It's Thursday today. Friday tomorrow got loads of tests. Studying is so stressfull...

So i've revised on maths, kimia and fisika.
I flipped, analyzed and now its in my brain.
Talking about brain, i've determined to practise/make my left and right brain work together...
hmm... great!!
can be extraordinary..
lol

My biggest fear this year is mtk..
Oh, how i really dislike it and its making me fear of it. How dare you, numbers!

School was fun today, i even have to speak loud! All thanks to Viky and Eka lor!
"What happened"!
The both of them are such a brats...
I felt hoarse afterwards, i realized that i've not been shouting and speaking in loud voices..

After dismissal, we made a trip to Bengkong.
To mom's cousin home, to buy kerosene..
After that in the car, she told us that a woman got hypnotized there, her money was cheated...
How brazen of those hypnosist!
A form of healing is now making people guarding against it...
So be careful, if somebody speaks to you, always be cautious.
Who knows?
Everythings here now, what more do you want???

Desy's birthday celebration.

Her birthday was supposed to be on Oct.6th, last tuesday..
but since it's weekdays, she's unable to celebrate it..
so the celebration was held yesterday. Saturday Oct10th.

During meal's time..

looking at desy's gift-card

only a pix taken during meal.. the rest were taken in cameras..

after meal:
*strolling to cinema



with Desy



*Happy Puppy




well, you readers must be thinking why desy is not in the pictures..
I don't have much photos with me..
Only few and absurd...
most of the pictures are in Edwin and Pris's camera..


PS: This is for those who stayed behind late.
The problem yesterday is not that i'm unable to be chaffeur(spelling-check) home... Infact i declined to be chaffeur home..
But it's another problem...
a secret i cannot say..
and i've figured itt out..
it's actually a misunderstanding that fools me..
please don't mention this anymore..
forget everything..
it's so embarassing..
and stop probing, allright?

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Yesterday's Event

So yesterday was the Mid-Autumn Festival..
I wasn't able to write last night because I got home late and busy..

In the morning, I invited several classmates that live nearby here..
I invited them to Vihara Buddhi Bakti, the Temple beside Windsor..
I invited 4, but only 2 go.
That's Vivi and Nelly. My sister also joins.
We went to the temple in the evening, Nelly first come to my house and we together walk there..


crossing the hectic road;

Vivi is there alrdy and she also met Agus there;
After reunite with Vivi, we went to offer incense and burn papers..
Soon it's dark..
We also bought snacks from a stall aftr offering incense>
Then the lion dance beat started..
But there's no any lion, maybe they are practising..
While having our snacks, suddenly raindrops..
But it didn't rain..
Next we walk around and soon Vivi went home..
I notice that it's not very crowded over here..
But i can see a lot of people here..
Next we go over to another field, just in time..
Thye're about to start 'Puja Bakti' so we joined..
We stood up and read paritta..
Next, games started..
We left the field as we're not taking part in any activity..
So we went for a stroll..
After a moment, there's an announcement of wish making..
Well, who's not interested?
We rushed back to the field and go over the boot..
The one in charge gave us paper each..
I, my sis and Nelly start writing our wishes..
The paper will be put in a balloon and let it off to the sky at 10/11pm...
the boot gets crowder..
I wish to stay and witness the baloon off to sky, but my sis and Nelly wants to leave alrdy... so we got home to my home..
Bought nasi uduk on the way home..
Eat and watch tv..
Nelly was fetched later on..
Mom, Dad, Uncle went to wedding dinner..

After a while, i went outside looking for moon, I made prayers and wishes.. the moon was in a blurr state because the whole day has been gloomy and it rained a bit..
Usually on this day, isn't it that the moon is thrice times larger than the usual?
Or i got it wrong?
I remember when i was a kid, I went to Maitreya Temple on Mid-Autumn Festival. There are stageshows and mooncakes to eat.. I stood at the temple and i saw the moon. The moon was not as ordinary as every 1st and 15th.. thrice times or 4 larger than the usual moon, it's shining and gorgeouss...
I can't forget the way it looks till now..
It's big and shiny, very beautiful...
But why i don't see it this year?
Or maybe that big moon is just a dream? or imagination? or perhaps hallucination?
I know it's not..

And i started to grow a liking in lion dance...

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are."
-Bernice Johnson Reagon

approaching Mid-Autumn Festival..

I'm back againn..
My favorite festival is here... it's Tomorrow!!
that's right, the Mid-Autumn festival! 15th of lunar calendar
I love this because in this festival I can eat mooncakes, gazing at the moon and carrying lanterns!!! If only I have a lantern.. perfect if it's a lotus lantern!
hahha.. and I love mooncakes, but still i'll get tired of it if i gonna eat it everyday>>
This is a good chance for you to get to know me even deeper..
My favorite is Lotus Paste with Double Yolk, I like the colourful skins "bing pi", but I rarely get to eat that only those common brown..
Whenever there's a mooncake, ofcourse there's the box so I and my sister would always fight for it..
Last year she had the box, this year I won't let her have it!
Unless mom buys another box of mooncake..
Mom bought 2boxes.. but it turned out that she's giving a box to grandma..
I told her 1 box not enough and she said if not enough can still buy..

Those are the 2!

I like the bright one, the design is nice, lotuses around!!
it contains 8mini mooncakes.
While the dark one as usual= 4pcses
The bright one is for grandma...
Awaiting tomorow.. The moon must be very beautifull and huge..

Today school's situation same like yesterday..
I don't want to say what happened anymore or I can't finish and my grammar is very poor.. Lest you don't get what i say.
But 3 Major Things happened:
1)Joevincent taught me card prediction!!
2)2handphones from our class got confiscated for a week!
3)Yesterday we played POLICE-AND-THIEF, today I changed it to HIDE-AND-SEEK, fun.
And I was stupid to have agreed on it! I'll tell her I CHANGED my mind>

Ella told me that today is Batik Day, and I've noticed since early morning that teachers were wearing something like formal and refined, i didn't know that's actually batik until i recall Ellas's words during dismissal time.

Recently, I'm very interested in traditional dresses like; Nyonya Kebaya, Cheongsam/Qipao, Hanbok, Kimono and etc..
I told myself that I must be able to collect them all..
They are gorgeouss and unique in their own wayss...
I'd be very happy if i'll get to collect them all!!
I love antiques! And I know I'm antique.
That's what you're going to say right MR. Jambo? you know who you are..
Jambu&Jambo a perfect drink made by Yenny Juwita..
Anyone who wants to try? Come look for me.
FOC!
haha...


Nyonya Kebaya


not sure whether it's cheongsam or qipao..
and it'd be ferfect if there's a chinese fan


Korean Hanbok


Kimono

Allright I wanna go on browsing now.
bye and Goodnight!
MAYBE u can see a beautiful moon tomorrow, so STAND BY!
I wish everyone Eternal Happiness...

lastly I want to thank a guy who had helped me with the word 'approach' on the title above. thanks ya.

“You are invited to the festival of this world and your life is blessed”
-Rabindranath Tagore

1st of Octoberr

I'm back.
Do u realize that it's October alredy?
If yes, good.
If no, now you know.

School is almost 'empty' today. Very quiet and not crowded, canteen not jam anymore. lol.
The reason is students volunteer themselves on the teambuilding camp(2days, a night). They're going to Nongsa Palm Springs, Batam. It's nice to go to beachh.. Can watch sunrise and sunset..
Well, who doesn't like such kind of activity? Even i, i like it too.. but you know due to some reasons..
Almost half of my class pupils joined the camp and half of the school.
Teachers are out too, so we were free for the whole day...
Great!

Mtk time, pak Johnny gave us free time to do our arts work. Aftr we're done with it, the 3 of us(juzz, vivi and i) had chats. We talked about our past, our troubles.. I really don't know that this world is so full of different peoples>.<
The chat went on and on.. But then we stopped during next lesson, economics. Tchr Jojo's behaviour was funny today, but the problem is why is he not joining the camp?
Well, none of my business anyway.
Continued our chat again, this time the topic turns vulgar cos of 2students(names will not be mentioned) joining the chat. We were chatting and they are vulgar-ing all over...
Next, reccess time..
And next free time till the end, just idling around..

But idling can be really boring.. nothing to do at all.
So in the class, I asked Kelvianto to teach me "the sun". Around 10-15mins I mastered it. Next bio teacher come to our class, leaving exercises as she's leaving to the activity too..
After some moment, history repeats itself.. It's POLICE-AND-THIEF time!!
Among all the girls that joined, i guess i was the most active.. I'm a police for few times and run like crazy catching thiefs.. I don't know if I've did the right thing? A big girl, playing and running around the school? what will others think of me when they see that? Well, I don't give a damnn.. (*smiling)

Finally I caught Agus, he's the dificult one.. I caught him with a strategy.. no stamina used.. I was perspiring all over..
And second difficult is JUSTIN! God, he 's dammmmnnnnn heavyy.. even 4,5,6 polices are unable to pull him back to the prison(classroom) and we had no choice but to pull him with his position of lying down on the floor.
That was fun and we laughed a lot>>
My face turned red, body wet, sweats like waterfall(hyperbole). hahaha
Eventhough I perspired but i don't stink at all. Infact i smells fragrance. Seriously, not bluffing.. Don't believe me? Come look for me and i let you smell...
hahaha...
Next was p.e time.. Volleyball tak jadii.. JUstin's mental sickness act up again..
Know what he did? U gonna find this lunatic disgusting...
I never met a person like him..

~
Still deciding whether should go to school or not tomorow.. If there are no lessons, we'll just idle and that's boring.. hmmmmm.....
I can hear fireworks here, what's the occassion?
In another 30days, it's Halloween time..
That's fast, i still remember last year's was like 3months ago...

From today on, I want to study hard to get good grades. The rest, i leave behind first. Concentrate, Yenny! just to convince my parents. Something like a back-up,
so that they'll allow me to go to capital city next year.. May this be fulfilled..
I hope every living things are happy..
no matter they are; fat, thin, short, tall, and whatever it is..
I know u're all in my left and right, I wish u eternal happiness.. and to all of you..

I don't want to feel sore again! And i hate the feeling of being unwanted..
I won't let it rule me! There's no such thing as "I am I", "I'm Myself".

If I am scolded, I simply agree;
If I am hit, I lie down;
If I am spat at, I let it dry;
You save Your energy, and I save my worries!
-Bodhisattva Maitreya, Pu Tai